STIFF Little Fingers received the Northern Ireland Music Awards (NIMA) ‘Legends’ award at the biggest event yet on Wednesday 2nd November, and proceeded to show the young whippersnappers just how a proper band delivers a live performance.

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OH Satan must be delighted. We, the people of Norn Iron, have sucked on his nether regions and are now hosting an event so divorced from reality that we carry headlines about people "auditioning" to be in the audience!
Yes, you read that right, if you or your brain dead, semi-literate, and certainly not self-aware friends wanted to be in

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WHAT citrus fruit likes oral sex? That would be Orange Goblin! Geddit? No! Ahh c’mon, surely you did! An Orange Gobbling; Orange Goblin!


Argghh! The joke is pathetic, I do hereby confess that, but instead of shaking your head, head off to your local ticket outlet and shell out the cash to see Big Ben and his compatriots in

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SERIOUSLY - if you have an IQ over 75 and watch X-Factor shoot yourself! Or at the very least shoot your computer and give your 'Smartphone' an acid bath.

Here's a fact for you numpties: the advertisers, those sons of Satan grubbing their way into your souls, judge the success of TV on the basis of how many people tweet or update.

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THE winners of our competitions for tickets to see Duff McKagan's Loaded and Turisas/Devin Townsend have been drawn. Cngratulations to them all.

If you haven't received an email by this morning, then we're sorry that you haven't won out this time. Which means you can now get yer asses into gear and buy tickets!

Thanks again

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SAD news comes our way that the mighty Interrogate has split-up.

Following on from rumours on social media I confirmed with former member Stephen Brown that the band is no more.

Now's not the time or place to go into the whys and wherefores, and no word as yet of future plans for the members.

From myself and on

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DIMMU Borgir have announced the album they'll be playing in full on their forthcoming visit to Belfast on 28th November - it's to be Enthrone Darkness Triumphant.

Borgir had run a fan competition to decide which of their output would be aired live in the first part of their show.

Tickets are still available for Triumphant

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THE mighty Viking roar of Amon Amarth is coming back to rock Belfast as the Distortion Project presents Amon Amarth at the Mandella Hall!

Holy Thor! This is going to the Twilight of the Thunder God at Queens, with Grand Magus blasting out as support to Amon and one further act to be confirmed.

The date when Odin's hordes

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DECEMBER is such a good time for parties...all those office functions with dry turkey and hard-boiled brussel sprouts, not to mention bad dances and inappropriate mistletoe advances...

Alternatively you could just go see Napalm Death at the Spring and Airbrake on December 6th! Much more festive, we're sure you'll agree!

More

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JUST a quick note on the competitions to win pairs of tickets to Duff McKagan's Loaded and the Turisas/Devin Townsend Project.

Thanks for all the entries so far: now to answer a few points from your emails [which saves me writing to each and every one of you]
  • Closing date is midnight, 24th October
  • There is no

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NOT to the taste of most readers, but some of the younger readers I know like them - You Me at Six - play the Ulster Hall on 14th March.

Pop punk, scene sluts, whatever, their third album Sinners Never Sleep, has been critically acclaimed beyond the pages of Kerrang! and other even less worthy publications.

[Editor's note:

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